husband, dad, son. american, korean. seoul, ann arbor, san francisco. dev, colleague, em. christian…ish

Month: July 2025

  • Sunlight, held together by water

    Healdsburg

    The kids are just dropped off at nearby overnight camp this week with good counselors and support staff. I wave goodbye, half-celebrating, half-double-checking the supply bag, and suddenly found myself… free(!?). Is this how it’s supposed to feel? Where I just… be. Suddenly time seems more thick, inviting… the possibilities!

    So we very quickly took the rare opening and drove up to Healdsburg.

    I can’t remember the last time we had this kind of time to ourselves. It’s been an intense year. More accurately, a relentless one. Though to be honest every single year has been like that for the past 12. Might as well draw a line in time, before and after. Anyway, after we drove into town, we made a run to Safeway, parked, and turned our room into a well-stocked lair of snacks and freedom.

    The next day we drove down backcountry roads where it seemed like every mile had a new winery gently whispering, why not stop by for a minute? Our first destination, Aesthete, had Adirondack chairs literally a few feet from Dry Creek itself, the sound of water flowing through very refreshing. I’m the designated driver, of course, but I took a sip or two. Just enough to taste what it’s like when ‘sunlight meets water’. Still don’t quite get it but it was superb rest for a couple hours in exchange for their relatively inexpensive bottle. Goats and chickens were nearby too, so if you have kids, this is your place!

    By the way, before we’d decided to come up here, I realized it’s been almost a decade since I’ve been up in wine country. Though I should clarify that it’s not Napa. It’s Dry Creek Valley. The gentle wince I received multiple times from our host at the second winery, Gary Farrell, until I realized why, with a smile that looked like it had politely winced hundreds of times before. Wait it actually isn’t Dry Creek Valley, it’s Russian River valley wine region. We’d drove past some boundary on the drive down.

    This particular place, sitting on a terrace up on a hill, with great views that doesn’t ask anything of you, a breeze mixed with the sun and shade that guides you to take a nap. For the first time ever we stayed a few hours until closing, as they had open reservations, and strategically ordering something from time to time. Could have relaxed longer if I’m being honest!

    The other time, wandering through Healdsburg’s plaza in no particular direction. It’s still the same after last visiting a decade or more ago. Even lacing up for a trail run up the nearby ridge well, a “run” in the generous sense. Gasping uphill might be more accurate as I pray my soar knee doesn’t mean anything else. Maybe next time I’ll be able to make it up without sounding like an about to break down steam engine, concerning smile given by the lone passerby notwithstanding.

    Coupled with Carmel-by-the-sea, it’s now one of may favorite places to relax. Though extremely expensive!

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  • Trail running

    want to be there right now

    Do people ever stumble upon something so good for you in every way, you wonder not only why you hadn’t done it much earlier, but all the possibilities if you HAD done it earlier. Grumble.

    I’m not exactly sure I’m a trail runner, though it’s said if you’re moving slightly faster than walking, and not on something hard, you’re a trail runner. And I have to say those two words put together sounds so cool. That being said, dor the life of me I cannot understand why my torturous, feeble, and slow attempts to jog up a hill feels so painful and so good afterwards. For most of my 40+ years, I’ve been trying avoid exactly that.

    Running was never fun for me, though for a semester I ran regularly through the Arb in the freezing winters of Michigan. I think 70% of that was the music blasting through my ears, a lot of Linkin Park and the like. Same briefly in 07 when I was living in Redwood City. Never got the runners high.

    But I’ve been going consistently for a few months now, and my stamina is such that I’m actually alarmed at my breath NOT being ragged. As in, are you ok, my heart, shouldn’t you be beating faster? And now I’m looking for tougher and tougher challenges, the more painful the better. It’s clear its become an escape of its own, somewhere as many runners say, where you can focus on the present.

    Either way I really hope this lasts. And thanks for those runners who got me into this by shouting he’s not a hiker, he’s a runner, when I ran past them uphill as they waited for me on a narrow trail.

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  • #1

    I wonder how many have seen their loved ones do something quite so amazing you’re in awe. Have you? Have many? Is it just me?

    So my wife Kacie is studying hard lately. Really, really hard. I honestly didn’t even know one could study that hard, and I’ve seen many of those types growing up, including my dad. Our house has a few tables, and she simply moves from one to another depending on vacancy. I’ve long since put permanent laptop chargers at every location she studies at.

    Often she studies for ten hours straight, weekdays and weekends have no difference. He classes included organic chemistry and statistics, which I hated with my whole heart. Three community college classes. All while raising kids. No breaks, no scrolling, just pure focus. Sorcerers in Marvel Movies can only dream of concentrating that hard. As a sidenote, when I was young I always admired (and had crushes on) girls who were awesome students, and so, uh, jackpot?

    I told her the other day, “If you had studied like this in high school, I wouldn’t have been able to marry you.”. I meant it, my high school was one of those intense Korean preps in the infamous Gangnam area where everyone basically fought for survival. And she would’ve been playing at the top with all the other superhuman kids. Without glancing up she goes “Damnit”! Like I said, marriage has really sharpened her sense of humor. Or to be more exact, marriage to me. It’s been lethal for a long time now. And extremely cutting. I love it.

    I really wonder where she would be at if she hadn’t studied music composition. Classic music composition to be exact. And then get a masters in abstract music. Not exactly the most marketable degree, yes. I often say hey if only you went into kpop music composition, which invites withering stares as I shy away.

    And now here she is, living half her nights in organic chem problem sets. All because she wants to leave something behind for our kids. I honestly don’t know how to end this entry. Other than wow.

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