Also did not realize eating something super cold can be hard to digest during a hike, sorry honey.
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not a bad day
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strava
Sort of rambling here, but you know, this app has been out for quite awhile, and I’m assuming anyone who has done any sort of endurance activity has heard about it or has an account. Which contrasts with the fact that as I get older, everyone including myself has seemed to all but ceased(understandably) using any social app(including Facebook and Instagram), except two. Linkedin and well, Strava.
It makes sense, the former is tied with your career, the latter your health. And given the good feelings you get finishing a workout, getting kudos on the app, and seeing your progression, its an all around positive experience. And uploading nice pictures and videos of the deer you see on the way doesn’t hurt.
Even Kacie is starting to wear her new Venu which I gifted against her protests, everywhere. Which is surprising since I tease her that the most activity I ever saw women my age like her do growing up in Korea during phys ed class was sit around and talk. Which she happily and proudly admits. But then again there’s a running boom these days over there where it seems like half the population is running. Something something socializing, half bragging results, a bit of positive peer pressure making it take off I think.
But anyway, now that I’m on the app, it’s suddenly clear the vast majority of people around me aren’t into endurance activities. I’m a recent convert who uses it to deal with the stress and frustrations in my life, but for those who HAVE taken up running, cycling etc at a younger age, I wonder what drove them. Perhaps its all the same.
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sleep
As I get older, getting a good amount of sleep has never been more important. Sometimes you’re in a situation where you don’t get quite enough, but when you do and have enough energy to go for trail runs in the Santa Cruz mountains, life isn’t too bad.
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achilles
Not the guy who’s legends I’ve read riveted since I was a kid, but my own left one. I can’t remember the last time I had even a mild injury doing sports. Mostly because I hadn’t been doing sports. Some moderate pain where the achilles attaches to the heal caused myself to almost not be able to walk the next day, but got much better stunningly fast over the week. Now that it seemed well on its way to be healed, some nerve pinching issues quite close to the area arose.
So bottom line, don’t find out the hard way why most everyone stretches!
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8 miles
And 1800 feet elevation. That felt good… and painful.
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Sunlight, held together by water
Healdsburg The kids are just dropped off at nearby overnight camp this week with good counselors and support staff. I wave goodbye, half-celebrating, half-double-checking the supply bag, and suddenly found myself… free(!?). Is this how it’s supposed to feel? Where I just… be. Suddenly time seems more thick, inviting… the possibilities!
So we very quickly took the rare opening and drove up to Healdsburg.
I can’t remember the last time we had this kind of time to ourselves. It’s been an intense year. More accurately, a relentless one. Though to be honest every single year has been like that for the past 12. Might as well draw a line in time, before and after. Anyway, after we drove into town, we made a run to Safeway, parked, and turned our room into a well-stocked lair of snacks and freedom.
The next day we drove down backcountry roads where it seemed like every mile had a new winery gently whispering, why not stop by for a minute? Our first destination, Aesthete, had Adirondack chairs literally a few feet from Dry Creek itself, the sound of water flowing through very refreshing. I’m the designated driver, of course, but I took a sip or two. Just enough to taste what it’s like when ‘sunlight meets water’. Still don’t quite get it but it was superb rest for a couple hours in exchange for their relatively inexpensive bottle. Goats and chickens were nearby too, so if you have kids, this is your place!
By the way, before we’d decided to come up here, I realized it’s been almost a decade since I’ve been up in wine country. Though I should clarify that it’s not Napa. It’s Dry Creek Valley. The gentle wince I received multiple times from our host at the second winery, Gary Farrell, until I realized why, with a smile that looked like it had politely winced hundreds of times before. Wait it actually isn’t Dry Creek Valley, it’s Russian River valley wine region. We’d drove past some boundary on the drive down.
This particular place, sitting on a terrace up on a hill, with great views that doesn’t ask anything of you, a breeze mixed with the sun and shade that guides you to take a nap. For the first time ever we stayed a few hours until closing, as they had open reservations, and strategically ordering something from time to time. Could have relaxed longer if I’m being honest!
The other time, wandering through Healdsburg’s plaza in no particular direction. It’s still the same after last visiting a decade or more ago. Even lacing up for a trail run up the nearby ridge well, a “run” in the generous sense. Gasping uphill might be more accurate as I pray my soar knee doesn’t mean anything else. Maybe next time I’ll be able to make it up without sounding like an about to break down steam engine, concerning smile given by the lone passerby notwithstanding.
Coupled with Carmel-by-the-sea, it’s now one of may favorite places to relax. Though extremely expensive!
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Trail running
want to be there right now Do people ever stumble upon something so good for you in every way, you wonder not only why you hadn’t done it much earlier, but all the possibilities if you HAD done it earlier. Grumble.
I’m not exactly sure I’m a trail runner, though it’s said if you’re moving slightly faster than walking, and not on something hard, you’re a trail runner. And I have to say those two words put together sounds so cool. That being said, dor the life of me I cannot understand why my torturous, feeble, and slow attempts to jog up a hill feels so painful and so good afterwards. For most of my 40+ years, I’ve been trying avoid exactly that.
Running was never fun for me, though for a semester I ran regularly through the Arb in the freezing winters of Michigan. I think 70% of that was the music blasting through my ears, a lot of Linkin Park and the like. Same briefly in 07 when I was living in Redwood City. Never got the runners high.
But I’ve been going consistently for a few months now, and my stamina is such that I’m actually alarmed at my breath NOT being ragged. As in, are you ok, my heart, shouldn’t you be beating faster? And now I’m looking for tougher and tougher challenges, the more painful the better. It’s clear its become an escape of its own, somewhere as many runners say, where you can focus on the present.
Either way I really hope this lasts. And thanks for those runners who got me into this by shouting he’s not a hiker, he’s a runner, when I ran past them uphill as they waited for me on a narrow trail.
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#1
I wonder how many have seen their loved ones do something quite so amazing you’re in awe. Have you? Have many? Is it just me?
So my wife Kacie is studying hard lately. Really, really hard. I honestly didn’t even know one could study that hard, and I’ve seen many of those types growing up, including my dad. Our house has a few tables, and she simply moves from one to another depending on vacancy. I’ve long since put permanent laptop chargers at every location she studies at.
Often she studies for ten hours straight, weekdays and weekends have no difference. He classes included organic chemistry and statistics, which I hated with my whole heart. Three community college classes. All while raising kids. No breaks, no scrolling, just pure focus. Sorcerers in Marvel Movies can only dream of concentrating that hard. As a sidenote, when I was young I always admired (and had crushes on) girls who were awesome students, and so, uh, jackpot?
I told her the other day, “If you had studied like this in high school, I wouldn’t have been able to marry you.”. I meant it, my high school was one of those intense Korean preps in the infamous Gangnam area where everyone basically fought for survival. And she would’ve been playing at the top with all the other superhuman kids. Without glancing up she goes “Damnit”! Like I said, marriage has really sharpened her sense of humor. Or to be more exact, marriage to me. It’s been lethal for a long time now. And extremely cutting. I love it.
I really wonder where she would be at if she hadn’t studied music composition. Classic music composition to be exact. And then get a masters in abstract music. Not exactly the most marketable degree, yes. I often say hey if only you went into kpop music composition, which invites withering stares as I shy away.
And now here she is, living half her nights in organic chem problem sets. All because she wants to leave something behind for our kids. I honestly don’t know how to end this entry. Other than wow.
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father’s day
Well, if you haven’t noticed, another Father’s Day has come and gone. Hope our dads got a call or a text. If you actually sent a present—wow, thanks for being better than most of us.
I don’t really remember past Father’s Days. Not in any memorable way, at least. Maybe there was dinner or a card from school, but nothing that stuck. And truthfully, I didn’t mind and was thankful for anything I got.
Lately, though, something’s shifted. I find myself wanting… something. I’m not even sure what. I mentioned this to Kacie, exaggerating dramatically, and she just stared at me ‘… He’s doing one of his monologues again…’ She didn’t say anything, but did cook an extra strip of meat that night which made me perfectly happy.
Anyway, maybe you know the feeling. That quiet desire that all this effort—the quiet worrying, the logistics, the loving, the trying, shouldn’t just pass completely unnoticed. Most days I don’t know if I’m doing enough. But I’m sharply aware of the ways I could be doing better. It’s a strange class. No one gives you a grade, but you always
feel likeknow you’re one assignment behind.Some of us relatively older dads, the ones who’ve weathered the peaks and valleys, health scares, ongoing ER visits, even tragic loss, move differently. Quieter. Slower. Gentler. Watching the newer dads sprinting through the thick of it, in varying degrees of emotion. We don’t say much, but we choose our words carefully, because not much needs to be said. We all understand what’s going on. We remember that situation, that tempo. It’s a long run. Just take care of yourself too. Especially today.
So yes. It’s a special day. And just like we understand Mother’s Day is more special each year, we acknowledge it’s the same for Fathers Day.
Maybe not loudly. But more real, more understanding, a few more nods to each other. A moment to gather around, like at a late-night café, quietly talking and laughing. Or maybe you just lean back, sip a glass of wine or a cold one, and close your eyes, half listening. The “Happy Father’s Day” messages feel a little more heartfelt each year. As if, if not for me, for everyone who’s tried so hard this past year. The ones who don’t respond, well, we get it. Take your time.
So if you’re a dad: heartfelt congrats, and cheers to all your incredible work. You’re doing awesome.
As for me, I still got to stop by my favorite place today, and had a great hike the day before. So all in all, not bad.
And that reminds me, this whole post is completely about myself. If my dad reads this, he’d be like thats all fine and good son, so where my recognition? I need to call him. Happy Father’s Day to the best dad in the world.
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michigan
To visit again some day Is it just me or is it typical for folks to get a bit more nostalgic as they age.
Because truth to be told I’ve been reminiscing about my college time recently. Perhaps its the fact that within a few years of graduation life would be throwing me a ton of knee buckling curveballs. Or perhaps because they symbolize a cheap and free escape. Either way it makes those memories more softer, and a little more rose tinted.
To be sure, my time in Ann Arbor wasn’t that eventful. Most of it was trying to stay afloat during classes, wondering why these winters never ended, and being alarmed at how the squirrels got as big as dogs. At that time I also didn’t have the tools for proper time management and going from a strictly scheduled high school exp to complete independence was a huge change. So I had to learn some self managing and other tools along the way.
Still, it was a beautiful time with some of the most kind, good, and memorable people I’ve ever met in my life. Though I’m in touch with precious few, and you forget the exact interactions, the echos of warmth shown always resonate in your memories. Perhaps even more as life teaches you what truly matters.
It’s also a testament that large or small, they’re doing far more everlasting and consequential things in the world. So I’m glad to have shared a season or two, thankful at the impact they had on me, continue to have, and I’m sure in many others lives. Even if it shows up a bit later in life.
So for those of us that graduated some time back and witnessed many a good friend, we’re truly lucky even if we didn’t make as much of our time there as we wanted…. Especially since the cost of tuition back then doesn’t seem that bad nowadays… though it still took me such a long time to pay that back…
But hey at least national championships feel absolutely amazing.
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