husband, dad, son. american, korean. seoul, ann arbor, san francisco. dev, colleague, em. christian…ish

  • san francisco

    You ever walk around a neighborhood hill, woods, or park, notice a small barely visible side trail, and wander off into it… only to come to a ‘secret spot’ which makes you unreasonably happy? Well we found one as pictured above living in SF. It wasn’t exactly a secret as many a neighborhood person would be there, but still it made me feel special.

    I loved the city, from it’s shortcomings to its sheer grand beauty. The people, the neighborhoods, the pretty streets which was basically every one, the micro climates, the mini downtowns each neighborhood had. Even the fogs and the summers Mark Twain coined “The coldest winter I ever experienced was a summer in San Francisco”. My dad laughed loudly when I told him that as he was shivering in our backyard.

    And of course the ocean.

    Just walking along Ocean Beach with the shimmering sparkling water meeting sky shades of brilliant yellow, sheer blue and white fluffy clouds gradienting into purple, pink and red streaks across the heavens made any stressors you may have go away for a short while. And it wasn’t just me, it was everyone walking around with a look of wonder and content as they enjoyed the experience.

    Though we had to move down to the peninsula during the pandemic due to reorgs and the very difficult SF school support situation, I’d lived in the city for 10+ years already. Before that I was living in Redwood City, where I’d move to after graduation, and then moved to SF after my marriage, since work was still commutable from there and me and Kacies church was nearby in the Richmond district. 10 years of living in what I truly believe is the most beautiful city in the world.

    So it was a very hard decision to move down, I still remember the drive down and feeling emotional, just like I remember getting on the plane to come back to the US and eventually Ann Arbor. But it undoubtedly was the best decision we could have made for every member of our family. We feel cozy here, despite living in a tiny condo, kids getting better support, and made many friends of folks in similar situations, and well, are content.

    Still, sometimes I look back at the city, which now seems to be thriving again and feel a bit nostalgic. Although to be sure when I drive back up on occasion it feels like I’m visiting someone else’s city, and thats a good thing. Seeing all the people up and about on the streets is always great.

    Major change is difficult, it’s painful, but often times it turns out to be for the better. Much better. Just one of those lessons that help you mature and handle things personally as well as professionally.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • audition shows

    I used to watch these kpop audition shows some years ago. The format was similar: take extremely passionate young folks who want to make it as singers, have them perform, vote, and the winners move on.

    To this day I’m at awe how these young folks handle the pressure, the emotions, the up and downs and cutthroat competition where advancing may change the trajectory of their entire careers. And the show dials up competition to the max, competing against other teams, your own teammates, everyone.

    I still sometimes listen to the music they produced during these times, and as how the vast majority did not get to experience success, there is a bit of guilt there. Because the cuts, the folks that don’t get to go on to the next level is absolutely brutal. Having been laid off before, I don’t know if the feeling is similar, but during those times I couldn’t even watch the show.

    At work I’ve also definitely been through extremely competitive environments. But for the most part at the end of the day you’re still collaborating to move your company forward. You found ways to deal with your differences and work together. To not take things too personal, to be well aware of processes and communicate at a high level. To manage expectations of everyone around you. While it can get bad, tears can flow, it’s not quite like the audition shows.

    As I listen yet again to one of my favorite performances to come out of one of these audition shows, I can’t help but hope the participants are enjoying success somewhere some way.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • projector

    Well I’m glad someone’s enjoying it

    So I bought a super cheap projector on Amazon, one of those with a brand name you’ve never heard of, but with somewhat reassuring reviews. If you just focus on the positive ones. I wasn’t expecting much and in fact I wasn’t even sure it would last the month. But the Warriors were in the playoffs, the game was on Friday night, and a few of us dads needed an excuse to hang out.

    Of course, I’d never set one up before, connected it to the internet, or even knew if Warriors games were available online but hey only one way to find out: Invite a few friends over so you’re time boxed and pressured into making it happen. It took one of the dads 45 minutes to set things up and balance the projector image. I’m still not sure how to do it correctly to be honest. But my goodness the image was more than good enough, I somehow found an actually legitimate and legal stream, and the tiny bluetooth speakers were perfectly fine. Victory.

    Sadly the game didn’t go our way, what the heck Curry, but we were too busy munching on snacks, eating the fried chicken and free corporate launch party food somebody stole brought, enjoying some ice cold ones, and just catching up. One of the guys’ wives packed custom snacks (the good kind, not the gas station kind). And well, losing means you actually have a lot of time to talk.

    It was perfect. Everyone helped clean up afterward like it was some sacred ritual—fold the chairs, pack up the chips, take out the garbage. Like I sad, a great group of dads.

    So then I brought the projector home, not exactly sure what to do with it. Kacie had been against buying it, giving me that classic “absolutely not” look, the one she reserves for impulse purchases and general views in my direction.

    But I hatched a plan. Just pointed it at the ceiling in our bedroom, and turned on ‘Descendents of the Sun. She walked in frowning, took a look at the ceiling, then lay down, and just sighed. “Ahhhh.” We watched a couple of dramas like that, horizontal and happy. It felt very luxurious in a way such a cheap purchase shouldn’t make us feel.

    And then… my daughter found it.

    Now my room is no longer my room. It’s her personal YouTube Shorts theater. She’s a one-kid projector hog, lying flat on the bed, wrapped up like a burrito in her blanket, scrolling through thirty-second videos like they’re oxygen. I walk in and she doesn’t even blink. In fact I think her look towards me is a tad unwelcoming.

    Um… daughter?

    Can I have my room back?

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • reading

    After growing up in Minnesota and Edmonton until I was 8, my parents decided to move back to Korea. I vividly remember being devastated by the news and charging up the stairs to my room. I loved my school in Edmonton, had a lot of friends etc despite the extreme cold and mosquito filled summers. Kids don’t really notice that stuff, do they.

    My parents though, were probably homesick and lonely, as there was only one other Korean family nearby, and worse my moms English wasn’t good to the point we struggled to communicate with each other. It was a no brainer decision for them obviously and I’m happy that opportunity arose.

    So we moved back and I sort of had to learn Korean, as it was… not good. Still once you’re immersed in that environment as a kid, its simply a matter of time until you get used to it and become fluent. I even adjusted more or less to living at my stern grandparents place. The Korean education system on the other hand however, as I got to know very soon… holy lord almighty wow. I’m pretty sure one spank with the rod for every one question you got wrong on an exam is… not it. 67 questions I got wrong on my first exam, gee I wonder how I remember that exact number.

    Anyway, after some point, my mom realized that I might forget all my English skills, as she had seen happen to other kids that had moved back at a young age. So she then commenced regular book buy sprees despite my dads very modest salary. We’d bus to these places that sold english books and bought them by the multiple bag load. Tons of Choose Your own Adventure books, The Hardy Boys, even all the Tintin comic books series among a lot of other, not exactly Pulitzer Prize worthy, stuff.

    So until 11 years later when I returned to attend Michigan, I was a voracious reader, without even speaking a single word basically during those years. I remember on the flight out wondering it I could still speak it, after only reading. And well, turned out you could!

    I’m double more thankful at work these days, because words to matter. The exact one, the tone, what you’re trying to convey, in what order. And of course, trying to be as concise and easy to understand as possible, because at the end of the day, what exactly is this persons ask is what everyone is wondering. After becoming an em, I asked my dad for advice, and this gruff, old school guy told me be extremely careful with your words.

    So obviously, thanks mom and dad for all the books, even though none of them were exactly Shakespeare or Hemingway!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • rotating sushi

    My kids’ favorite restaurant—hands down—is a local chain rotating sushi place. They love it. A few taps on a screen, no need to talk to anyone, and like magic, food shows up at the table. We actually don’t go too often as its not particularly cheap, but sometimes special occasions do arise and we give in.

    They order the exact same thing: udon noodles. Every single time. And vanilla ice cream for dessert. Despite our many attempts—asking, encouraging, even flat-out pleading—I’ve yet to see either of them eat a single piece of sushi(To be sure, I hated it as a 14yo too… until I realized how expensive it was and it suddenly, magically started tasting much better)

    That said, it’s honestly not a bad choice for me and Kacie as we’ve always enjoyed Japanese food. I pick a few rolls here and there, and she loves uni. The entire family doesn’t eat too much curiously, so the bill is actually manageable enough.

    And apparently, we’re not the only ones that like this place. It’s is always packed; by 5 p.m. on a Friday, the waitlist is already 30+ minutes. Yes, we have the restaurant’s app. Yes, we collect rewards points. And yes, I more or less know the wait times by heart depending on the day and time. So at least we get seated in less than 5 minutes by planning ahead.

    As for quality? I was never a Michelin-star kind of guy anyway, so I always leave happy. So do my daughters—mainly because they’re obsessed with dropping empty plates into the counting slot, which tallies your dishes and adds to the bill. Enough and this plastic egg drops with something inside.

    It makes me wonder—what is it about places like this that appeals to adults, too? Maybe it’s the freedom of choice, the low stakes of trying something new (if you don’t like it, it was only a few bucks), or the sense of control when everything’s literally at your fingertips.

    Going on a wide tangent, maybe that’s why we gravitate toward dashboards at work too—the desire and requirement to know what’s happening at any given moment, to feel like we’re in control. Just with fewer sushi plates and more charts though yes I’ve seen many a dashboard be silently retired.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • appendix

    Well that was a trip.

    I used to hate needles, hospitals, medicine, etc. Yes I was afraid of being poked, I almost never gave blood and actually sort of marveled at people who did, making it sound mildly more inconvenient than briefly cleaning your room. But of course, after a huge health scare thats different from my appendix a few years ago, you sort of get over that in a hurry. Something something learning the hard way.

    Anyway, I’ve had occasional digestive issues over the years. Nothing too serious, but enough to pop up once or twice a year and remind me something wasn’t quite right at that moment. It was usually the same: some abdominal pain that would come and go. Could be a very sore sensation for a few hours, to briefly doubled over in pain in my companies bathroom trying to breathe. I’m still not exactly sure at all what caused that.

    Then about 18 months ago, it flared up again but this time felt different. The pain lasted all night and was easily a 7 out of 10. I’d somehow managed to make it through the night, but the next morning, I shifted my weight a little, and boom, pain shot up to a 9.5. I’d already done some painful research the night before, and everything pointed to the appendix. But I was still skeptical. Really? At my age? And it can hurt this much? But I called Kacie, who had been telling(and eventually yelling) me all night to go to the ER, and she drove me to Stanford. I winced and moaned every time we hit a bump.

    They took one look at me, got me in quickly and gave me dilaudid through an IV. It was my first experience with painkillers and let me just say that that stuff works. It really, really works. I went from being doubled over in pain to feeling pretty relaxed and even smiling, despite being in a makeshift bed in the hallway.

    They suspected appendicitis and sent me for a CT scan. There were two techs, and I remember wondering if they thought they’d find something worse. Turns out the scan confirmed it: appendix. They used the word perforated. I looked it up and basically it means burst. I asked one of the medical staff (can’t remember now if it was a doctor or nurse), and they just kept saying “perforated.”. Then they used the word ‘ruptured’. Whatever I asked they never used the word ‘burst’.

    It was a bit unsettling. At one point, after swallowing some ice chips, I could literally feel a cool sensation in my lower right side like something was leaking. A doctor came in and told me if it hadn’t burst yet, the surgery would be simple. Looking back, I’m pretty sure she already knew the situation and was just keeping me calm.

    They wheeled me into surgery, I chatted a bit with the team… and then woke up almost four hours later. In fact, my wife was worried to death as she had gotten the impression that it would be a simple 30 minute surgery. But no, definitely not a simple appendectomy since the appendix had already ruptured. In fact, the intestine it was attached to had also gone bad. Looking back, downplaying the severity sort of backfired, but I understand the motivations to assuage fears of loved ones.

    So in all honestly, the surgeons saved my life. I wish I’d been able to properly thank her, but I was still out of it when she checked in after the operation. They’d gone with the standard 3 small hole approach, took a peek and said nope, we’re going to have to do some major stuff. And of course she did an incredible job and I wish I could thank her again.

    The silver lining? Since the surgery, those digestion issues I used to get—completely gone. Unexpected bonus.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • car

    Ah do I miss you

    I’ve really grown to love our new, used suv, even though I never imagined myself driving one. My very first car was back in 2006, a used Camry my dad helped me buy from an older Korean gentleman with a… let’s say, memorable vibe. I still remember how he counted the cash by roughly splitting the bills in half and counting just one stack.

    Like most Toyotas, that Camry ran like a champ for over 15 years with barely any issues. I dated my wife in that car, brought our first child home in it, and took it everywhere. Yosemite, Tahoe, Napa, Big Sur, Carmel, all around the Bay. It was the go-to for countless church rides too, at least until it wasn’t.

    Then the pandemic hit, and like many others, I started working from home (thank you, remote work). The Camry went into storage, and after a couple of years, it moved with us away from San Francisco. Because I hadn’t driven it for so long, I started using our van for the occasional commute while the Camry just sat. Even though the mechanic gave it the all-clear, I eventually realized it wasn’t safe to drive a car that had been parked for that long.

    So I let it go. Tried donating it, filled out all the forms, but no one came. Eventually I sold it for next to nothing to one of those companies that haul away old cars. I still remember watching them load it up and drive off. Honestly, I felt pretty sad and emotional. That car was basically with me my entire adult life, had been through a lot with me, never let me down. That’s why it took a couple of years to finally sell it, I still see the flatbed truck hauling it up and driving away. Sigh.

    But the very next day, our new used car showed up, and just like that, I kind of started forgetting about the Camry… I am so, so shallow. Funny enough, I was originally set on getting a Prius until Kacie casually mentioned she’d like something different. And she never say something like that being how frugal she is. So here we are.

    We love it—questionable color choice and all, especially in this summer heat. Sorry Camry I hope to see you again some day.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Music

    Like many people, music has always been a meaningful part of my life. Whether I’m driving, working, studying, or just relaxing, music has a way of grounding me—it calms, lifts, or simply keeps you company wherever you’re headed. In fact I’m listening to it right now as I’m writing this.

    So, what do I listen to? Honestly, it depends.

    In the car, it’s usually ’90s Korean music—partly because Kacie and I can sing along and get nostalgic, and partly because that’s what I listened to growing up. Our playlists bounce between old-school K-pop—Sechskies (my wife’s favorite boy group), g.o.d, Jinusean, Solid, SES, H.O.T….and newer groups like NewJeans, IU, Bolbbalgan, and Day6. SG Wannabe makes frequent appearances too. Honestly, they’re all incredible.

    Backstreet Boys show up now and then too—I listened to them way back as a kid along with M2M, Michael Learns to Rock, Westlife, Savage Garden etc. Aaaand a mix of ‘80s and ‘90s American pop. Don’t Stop Believin’, To be with you, Nothing’s gonna stop us now, More than a feeling, Heaven is a place on Earth, etc. A little Coldplay, a little more Taylor Swift—just the feel-good, familiar stuff. I waver between ‘As long as you love me’ and ‘Something just like this’ as my favorite of all time.

    Then, late at night, when I’m alone, I’ll sometimes go back to the songs I listened to during my Ann Arbor days. Mostly worship music, which is ironic considering how much I skipped, ah, ‘attendance’ due to struggling with classes. It seems to fit where I’m at in life now—quiet, reflective, in need, and grounding in a different way.

    Looking back, the past few decades have gifted us so much amazing music. I don’t think I’ll ever run out of things to listen to.

    One thing though, I’ll probably never get Park Hyo Shin, Kacies favorite. Seriously, the guys puts me to sleep almost instantly.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • i love you – 포지션

    어릴 때부터 그냥 제일 좋아하던 노래였다. 부르기 쉬워서 그랬을까? 담담하면서도 간결하고 간절한 가사가 마음에 들어서였을까? 아니면 그 시절, 순수하게 누군가를 좋아하던 내 마음을 그대로 표현해주는 것 같아서였을까.

    노래방이 익숙치 않고 노래에 전혀 소질 없던 내게 부르기 쉬워서 많이 반가웠던 기억이 있다. 나름 분위기도 잡을 수 있었지만 노래방을 남자들끼리만 가기에 욕도 많이 먹었고 간주 점프는 필수였다 ㅎㅎ. 근데 와이프는 연애시절 이걸 보고 헤어질까 잠깐 생각했다고 한다. 아 재능을 못알아보네.

    지금도 가끔 유투브 자동 플레이리스트에 나오면 그냥 하던 걸 멈추고 듣곤 한다. 근데 사실 아직도 가수가 누구인지 어느 앨범에 수록됐는지 전혀 모른다. 지금이라도 찾아봐야지.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • why now

    Well, I finally got this up and running.

    20+ years ago I did a lookup on albertlim.com and noticed it was already registered. I’d look it up a couple times more, but after it was registered for another 5+ years I stopped watching. I did buy my friends a few domains as a gift, but looking back, what exactly were they going to do with it, ha.

    So, I’ve been waiting for my name to become available for quite a while now. Didn’t expect it to take a whole 2 decades, but checked recently, hit buy, and here we are. I hope the person who originally bought it isn’t too disappointed it slipped away. Then again, with everything on Instagram these days, maybe having your own domain doesn’t feel as necessary anymore.

    For some reason, I feel there’s much I’d like to write about… and yet now that I’m here, I’m not exactly sure where to start. God knows the last 25 years have been a ride. An unexpected ride to say the least, with peaks and unimaginable, tears run dry type of lows, but thats what I believe is called life as we all get to understand. Plus I have a feeling future me will be glad I did.

    My dad once told me these years—my age now—were the best of his life. Not sure if thats right for us given the hills and mountains Kacie and I are partnering through, but I do see where he’s coming from. I wonder if he looks back on my time now the way I reflect back sometimes as well.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *